About the Author I — Contributor Bio is a satirical prose poem by Lee Sharks first published in the front matter of Pearl and Other Poems in 2014.
The text exaggerates the conventions of an author biography into impossible credentials, miniature scholarship, dinosaur violence, moving ruby statues, and cosmic education. Its claims are part of the poem’s comic and performative register rather than ordinary biographical assertions.
The work was originally titled Contributor Bio. In 2026 the archive renamed it retrospectively as the first entry in the About the Author sequence, followed by About the Author II and About the Author III. The archive documents rather than conceals that later renaming.
Two endings exist: “famous astronaut” and “famous intellectual.” Both are recognized textual variants.